We Love Larry

Killing time

I’m not really sure what has happened over time with this blog. What I’m supposed to do with it? How often? I realized that it is almost 2015 and haven’t typed a single word here his year. I also realize that I’m typing into the wind since no one will be reading this.

The blog that started as an “Oh my god my dad is sick” tracking tool, morphed into a travel brochure for dummies, and now…..not sure. My dad is still chugging along. We are still travelling. I guess at some point I will be given a sign.

I’ll probably post some events from 2014 that happened, so that I have a more definitive “over time” accounting of things. Let me know if you read this.

Skip to my Lou

Since I have this title I will also skip the excuses for not writing here.

An observation about St. Louis, and may this is true of other cities, they are event crazy. Every weekend it’s something. “Taste of St. Louis”, “Lou-fest”, Fair St. Louis”. Don’t get me wrong this stuff is great, the problem is that these things shut down the city. If you’ve ever been to St. Louis you know that there are like 3 East-West streets that are the main thoroughfares and if they shut one down you have to use the old underground railroad tunnels to make it to your destination. One of the other favorite city events is also the “run”. 5K – 10K, Fun run, Girls on the run, Run for the border, you get the drift. These also close down the roads. Here’s a thought. Designate one street for this stuff, close it year round, and make it a special celebration once a year and let people drive on it or across it. That would be more interesting that navigating the “which road is closed this week” debacle. I’d love to also get a list of the parades they have here because I’m pretty sure they are not using the standard list of holidays. I support one parade and one parade only…see below. (Hint for Cubs fans: It’s a World Series parade – wasn’t sure if cameras had been invented since your last one.)

Yes I’m writing this because the streets were shutdown again this morning…WTH holiday is September 22nd?

2013

I was searching for a picture in the vast archive of pictures that is the Carroll family over the years and found that I hadn’t posted anything in 2013. I’ve made promises to post new and interesting stuff here time and time again and can’t seem to get the ball rolling. Maybe this will get me started?

Looking forward to a visit from Grandma and Grandpa Bill this month. I’m not sure if either of them have been to St. Louis, but we’re going to give them the dime tour.

Possible posts for the future? (This also might spur me to follow through)

- Loft living in St. Louis. I’m fascinated by the newest renovation down the street.

- Food? Maybe a visit inside of the Steve’s Dogs franchise?

- Baseball

- Excited about the Riverfront bike trail…..gotta get out and find it now.

More soon…seriously. I promise.

Distractions

Some good television you might be missing because it isn’t the latest, greatest thing on ABC, NBC..

Doc Martin - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doc_Martin

We had fun watching it with the kids. Generally a clean and funny British show. We watched it on Netflix.

Sherlock - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherlock_(TV_series)

We’ve only watched a couple of episodes so far, but it is one of those “Got to pay attention” things. Modern take on the old Sherlock Holmes.

An Idiot Abroad - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An_Idiot_Abroad

Hilarious if you can keep up with the British accents. Maybe watching the other shows first would get you used to it.

Dr. Danger - http://www.hulu.com/dr-danger – Watch online!

If you want to learn a little bit about the real world.

Shark Tank - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shark_Tank_(TV_series)

This one is a little more mainstream, but you might pass it by if you don’t watch an episode or two.

Sports heaven!!

IF I were a huge sports fan my new house would be pretty damn cool. It’s pretty cool anyhow, and I can’t afford to be a huge sports fan. I made the map represent the block I live on so I don’t get stalked by some deranged “We Love Larry” fan….that’s you Locander

1.2 miles from the home of the St. Louis Rams

1.8 miles from the multi year World champion St. Louis Cardinals

1 mile from the “we are on strike” St. Louis Blues

I don’t know anything about the St. Louis University Bilikens, but they are in the “less than 2 mile” category. I really should publish a more cultural map with the museums and theatres. Right now it’s really a bit chilly to walk to any of them.

Oh…that first 1.4 miles is to the Arch. All downhill too.

More like a Murray Slaughter if you ask me…

So I had an MRI the other day. I know this sounds like a pick up line, but let me tell you about this experience. Whatever. It’s my blog, don’t read it if it sounds dumb.

I’m going to try to keep it brief, but there are many different aspects to the MRI experience that are just begging to be told. I’ll do them in steps.

STEP 1

There are many types of MRI machines and many parts of the body that can be imaged. My MRI required some very specific MRI technician instructions. Instructions that he must have repeated every day for the duration of his current career. The very first step is relatively easy. Get on the table and relax. It goes downhill quick from there. Since you have to stay still during the procedure they strap you to the table and put some headphones on you. Then they give you an alarm to press “just in case”. Let me tell you. Being strapped to a bed for any reason other than the one you just thought of isn’t fun. I thought they might give me a “safe word” also.

STEP 2

Speaking of many types of MRI machines, I got the one that looks like a giant iron lung. They roll you into the paper towel roll thingy where the top of it is inches from your nose. As soon as you notice this measurement, your nose immediately starts itching. I mentioned that I was strapped down right? There is no Zen, Buddha, yoga trick that will make an itch go away when you have nothing to think about other than that itch…that is until Step 3.

STEP 3

The type of MRI I was having required the technician to instruct me to hold my breath. How hard could that be is that what you are thinking? Take a moment right now and hold your breath. Count and let me know how long you held it. I’ll wait……30 seconds? 45 seconds? Longer? Well this guy started out by telling to hold my breath and then telling me to breathe again with a 12 second gap. I know this because I was counting the seconds in my head. After he did this about 5 times I got comfortable with the 12 seconds. That was, until, he changed it to 16 seconds. Then it was 21 seconds….then one time he forgot to tell me to breathe. I think I went 32 seconds before he realized my toes were twitching. At this point I started to get a little panicked. “What was it going to be this time?” What if I let out my breath early? Will I have to do more?” “Is he simply messing with me? Are they having a laugh in the MRI booth”? “I’ve never seen this on House M.D”. It was at this point that he screwed with me again.

“Stay still and try to breathe regularly Jon…the machine will be trying to synchronize your breathing for this scan” Are you kidding me? That was the kiss of death. The machine tried to synchronize my breathing while my brain said, “Faster, slower, deeper, more shallow…Damn it man get it together!”

STEP 4

This is the point in the test where all the troubles in your life seem small. I’m being re-born. Somewhat literally if you think about them removing me from the machine. I can move my limbs! I can scratch my nose! I can take a swing at the technician who was in charge of the breathing instructions.

Look…I know there are people who have much worse tests and health concerns. I feel for them. I consider myself pretty healthy and I would hate to do these tests feeling poorly, but I don’t think I’m doing one of these again until they get something like a Star Trek scanner. Forget it.

Red light, green light

So St. Louis is one of those cities across the U.S. that has invested in red light cameras. I , apparently, am a co-investor. I’m torn. I really did not like paying the $100.00 because my car (Jen) didn’t come to a complete stop on the right turn on red. I also did not like finding out that $32.00 of my $100.00 went to a couple of guys in Arizona who St. Louis bought the cameras from. I’m surprised that a couple of bucks doesn’t go to the Edison family just because they had a hand in the “light” portion of the puzzle. The reason I’m torn is because it has really made me pay attention to red lights. I guess that was the intention, but if I thought about it a little more I would guess the intention is to milk me for a Benjamin as often as possible. I now cheer the lights when I see them bust someone else. It’s kinda cool. If you are sitting at the intersection, not breaking the law, you can watch the flash of the camera add to the coffers of the fine City of St. Louis. If it weren’t such an expensive proposition I would also think it was cool that they send you a ticket with a link to the video of your crime. If you look close enough you can see other people at the intersection cheering your downfall. I guess I’m not alone. Just kidding. You can, however, see a police car just cruising past the scene of the crime at the end. Guess they let the cameras do the work.

I’m not sure if this will work, but here is the offending clip. If it doesn’t work, I can tell you where you can record your own violation and get a free copy of your own $100.00 flying out of the window!!

Eh…oh well…the video sucks.

May the Tribulation Force be with you!

I’m just now realizing that I have never lived IN a city before. I’m pretty sure that living just off of 23rd ave. in Moline doesn’t qualify. I’ve already come across some interesting scenes in the short time we’ve been “downtown” and I thought I’d share a couple.

I was walking to a local coffee shop on a brisk Saturday morning and as I walked past the bus stop something caught my eye. I usually don’t look at the bus stops, well, because you see thing like I saw and it can make your entire day confusing. On the sidewalk under the bus stop sneeze guard enclosure were the following items:

- One pair of loafers. Good condition. I would say approx. size 12.

- One pair of jeans. Laid out flat, as if to dry, or as if the person wearing them was lying there and simply turned to powder, ala a possible “Rapture” thing.

- One muffin, bran (it seemed) with a bite out of it. I would hate to get raptured after only one bite of a muffin. I guess I wouldn’t make the cut if I had this thought huh?

- A pair of socks, not matching. Is that still a pair? or two singles?

- A cigarette butt…still smoldering.

What was missing from the entire picture was a human. No one to be found. I did notice the shoes and the pants were gone when I passed by on the way home.

Ok…I’m only sharing one story at a time I’ve decided. I know full well that I will get to a point and not be able to think of anything to write. Remind me to tell the one about the fire engines at some point.

‘Tis the season…

In the spirit of re-re-re starting this blog I am offering this posting…

A list of observations about re-living in St. Louis.

Preface: I used to live here briefly when I worked on the Admiral Casino. I had no idea that I used to drive from my little house in the suburbs, park downtown, go to work and then back home, completely bypassing everything that is St. Louis. I have already experienced more culture and “St. Louisness” than I did in the 5’ish years I lived her previously. Here are just some random things about this time.

1. St. Louis has the longest traffic lights in, I think, the world. You know that point where you think to yourself, “Man this light is taking forever”? A little bit later you start to think that maybe the light is stuck? Then you contemplate the consequences of simply blowing off the light? 3 minutes longer than all of those things.

2. St. Louis is a dog city. There might be more dogs than people around here. One of the ways I came to this conclusion is the amount of dog poop I have to dodge as I travel around.

3. There is no in between here.

- Friendly or not friendly

- City vs. county

- Love it or hate it

- Cardinals vs. everyone else. No other fans actually live here. They would just be so lonely and taunted.

3. The Jefferson National Expansion Memorial is not the only thing to do here. “The Arch” for the less cultured. Stay tuned and I’ll try to keep you up to speed on the cool stuff there is. I’ve already posted some stuff to Facebook, but it seems like I should be chronicling things here.

4. Food. I was already finding a few pounds over the years, but this place is going to put me into a whole new category. Again…another chance for some good posts and pictures of food. You just can’t find pictures of food on Facebook. Oh, yeah, well….pictures with a good story. There Facebook, take that.

Anyhow….the theme of the day is “Stay tuned” I will do my best to keep writing. There is a lot to talk about.

He who sucks at blogs…

Wow….I suck at blogging huh?

Granted 2009 was a bad year, but really? 4 posts up to this point? Heck…one of the 4 was to put pictures up of a trailer I was trying to sell.

I’m going to try harder. We have completed our move to St. Louis and there are plenty of observations and curiosities here in the Midwest. No promises, but at least on Sundays I will sit down and contemplate writing something.