The other day I was at the grocery store playing a cat and mouse game with the actual shoppers there. I only have one job when I’m at the grocery store, and that is to drive the cart. I don’t really drive the cart as much as I kinda lean on it and bitch and moan my way through the aisles. The cat and mouse game enters into the fray when there is a lull in the shopping action. Not wanting to be a burden on other shoppers I always try to pick a place to park the cart where I won’t be in the way. It usually goes like this.
Jon: I think I’ll park over here by the Limburger cheese.
Shopper #1: Excuse me sir…but I’m trying to get to that cheese you are blocking.
Jon: Oh, sorry. I’ll just move over here by the pile of expired chicken cutlets oozing out on to the floor.
Shopper #2: Hey buddy! You wanna step aside while I scoops up them chicken pieces?
You get the picture. It doesn’t matter where I try to hide there is always some joker trying to get what I’m blocking. Another problem with the grocery store is that apparently the rule for driving a cart are completely different from driving a car. There is driving on the wrong side, no signaling, no one yields, it’s chaos. I have, however, removed this problem from my life for the most part. I found that I am now a known complainer of such extremes that no one really wants me to go with them to the grocery store anyhow.