Adventures in scootering (Part 3)

So I just returned home from one of the longest episodes of “Family Guy” ever. Apparently a side affect of being away from home for a while is basically, complete loss of brain function. Let me explain. I walked Jen to the car tonight as she was off to do some Jen type things. She waved goodbye to me FROM THE CAR and I waved back, so far so good. An hour or so later the kids and I decided on pizza from a local pizza joint. No problem…pick up the pizza in 20 minutes. Perfect. Have I mentioned that we only have ONE car? It seriously didn’t dawn on me that I couldn’t actually retrieve the pizza and I didn’t have a car until I was walking out the door. This is when I realized that due to a completely unrelated story of Christmas friendship and generosity, I had a working Vespa. Intriguing. Here’s how it was going to go down. It was dark, the temperature was a cool 55 degrees and I was about to traverse one of the busiest intersections in our area, next to the mall, a week or so from Xmas. I made it to the pizza joint no problem, paid for the pizza and then spent 15 minutes trying to determine how in the hell I was going to get a large pizza home on a scooter. Here’s what I worked out.

I’m sure my fellow Floridians had a good chuckle at the middle aged pizza delivery guy who got stuck delivering pizza in the 50 degree weather on Friday night. Eh, whatever. It was actually kind of adventurous. Sad, but true.

Shortcake? or short changed?

I think I owe my Norwegian friends from Alesund an apology. Last year, at this time, I mentioned that the Strawberry festival was taking place in nearby Plant City, FL and that they might want to check it out. I believe I sent them into an area of Americana that might best be left to only Americans. I’m pretty sure that after visiting this festival myself yesterday that they got a glimpse of real down home, U.S. style idiocy, gluttony, and who knows what else. I had visited the Strawberry festival years ago with my parents and remembered it as a celebration of strawberries and interesting Florida things. Well either I was drunk back in in mid 90’s (a distinct possibility) or the Strawberry festival has come down a few notches on the “places to be seen” list. Speaking of lists, here is a list of things that you should probably not introduce to people from another country, at least not in the first month. Sorry Stale!

- Parking – the parking in Plant City for this “festival” has turned into an exercise in “How much can we soak the out of towners for?” Plant City’ers have turned their yards, vacant lots, and I’m sure if I looked hard enough, their cemeteries into cash sucking parking opportunities. I think they gave their kids orange flags and told them that whenever they get more than $20 in their hands to run it down to the bar and turn it over to them.

- Something about being raised in the Midwest makes me cringe at the thought of paying $3.50 for an ear of corn, slathered with butter and sold as a delicacy. I could continue about the Turkey legs, Corn Dogs, Cheese sticks / balls / slabs, Elephant ears, Funnel cakes, Nachos, taffy, and various other “only seen in stores” types of “food”.

- It was discounted ride day at the festival so that meant it only cost me $8 for the kids to ride the ferris wheel instead of $10. Seriously? $8.00?

- People really get decked out for a visit to the Strawberry festival too. No longer are kids satisfied with shirts that let you know their favorite baseball team or boy band, now the t-shirts have to tell you to #$%^&^, and various other kind messages.

The strawberry festival wasn’t without its merits. Sam and I enjoyed our strawberry shortcake. Sara made some friends with some “Little house on the prairie” couple who killed their own food and made their own toilet seats. All in all I will try to avoid the 2 mph traffic and all other things that come with the Strawberry festival in the future. Here are some of our highlights.