My new job

I have found the perfect job for me. It occurred to me tonight as I strolled through the Barnes and Noble down the road. I want to be a book reader. That’s right. A book reader. I just want to read the books. I don’t want to discuss them, edit them, correct them or anything else. I know this seems like a relatively useless job, but I’ve seen other jobs that seem just as silly. Wal-Mart greeter for instance. I’m not sure what kind of secret corporate deal that was struck to make that a job, but more power to them. The next trick is to find the proper company to pay me. For such a unique job I feel like I should also be paid pretty well. I’ll get back to you.

Excuse me Mr. Wells, but do you have the time?

I was putting a book back on the shelf the other day and I got to thinking about something. Before I start to type what appears to be really weird stuff and you start thinking I’m crazy, the book was about time travel of a sort. For some reason I was giving this more brain power than is really necessary and I decided that even if I could go back in time I would just look like as big a dummy as I do in my own time. Keep up with me here. If you were to travel back, call it 100 years, what super knowledge of the future would you have that would make you rich or famous? Besides betting on the World Series or maybe making some stock investments what else could you do? Could you invent the computer earlier than it was already invented? How about the TV? There’s no way I could explain TV or help someone built it or tell them anything other than a story about it. 100 years ago cars would have been around, but even if I went back far enough to get cars invented I would have been the dumbest guy in the garage. I can see it now. I would have been locked up in some sort of institution. “There he is, that’s the guy who thinks we can send men to the moon” I think there might already be time travelers in our midst, but they are just too dumb to speak up for fear that they would look like idiots. Note to self…when time travel is invented…send back the smart people.

Oh, by the way. The book was Replay by Ken Grimwood

Book ‘em Dan-o

Why do we buy and keep books? How many of you buy and read a book more than once? I have an office FULL of books that I’ve purchased, been given, or stolen over the years that are just taking up space. The problem with books is that they are revered. You can’t just throw away a book or someone is probably going to kick your ass. It’s like burning a flag. Well, not quite like that, but you get the picture. Everyone will say “Well you could donate them” or “Give them to the library”. Once you decide you are going to do one of those things you still have to load up 4,000 lbs. of books and transport them and then move them again. The other problem with having no books is that people will come to your house and think you are dumb. I think the only reason people have books and display them is to show how smart they are. Now before you spin around and see how many books you have out I’m not saying that everyone who doesn’t have books around is dumb, maybe they are just secure in their level of intelligence. If you are collecting and showing off your books to show how smart you are you might want to take a look at the titles also. The entire collection of Harlequin romance novels or the whole set of Robin Cook books isn’t going to help your case. Ok, I’ve written it down, now it is off my chest. Moving on.