Showing posts with label Rhode Island. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rhode Island. Show all posts

Adventures in scootering (Part 3)

So I just returned home from one of the longest episodes of “Family Guy” ever. Apparently a side affect of being away from home for a while is basically, complete loss of brain function. Let me explain. I walked Jen to the car tonight as she was off to do some Jen type things. She waved goodbye to me FROM THE CAR and I waved back, so far so good. An hour or so later the kids and I decided on pizza from a local pizza joint. No problem…pick up the pizza in 20 minutes. Perfect. Have I mentioned that we only have ONE car? It seriously didn’t dawn on me that I couldn’t actually retrieve the pizza and I didn’t have a car until I was walking out the door. This is when I realized that due to a completely unrelated story of Christmas friendship and generosity, I had a working Vespa. Intriguing. Here’s how it was going to go down. It was dark, the temperature was a cool 55 degrees and I was about to traverse one of the busiest intersections in our area, next to the mall, a week or so from Xmas. I made it to the pizza joint no problem, paid for the pizza and then spent 15 minutes trying to determine how in the hell I was going to get a large pizza home on a scooter. Here’s what I worked out.

IMG00077-20101211-1817I’m sure my fellow Floridians had a good chuckle at the middle aged pizza delivery guy who got stuck delivering pizza in the 50 degree weather on Friday night. Eh, whatever. It was actually kind of adventurous. Sad, but true.

He’s still talking about ice?

Disappeared for a week into the wilds of Rhode Island. I survived and even managed to return. I have things to write about, so check back later if you are inclined. While I was in RI I was rewarded for my 10 years of service with APC. I can’t believe I have been in another career for 10 years. I won’t bother to write about the “reward”, but by doing some math I have figured out that if I stay there for 50 more years I should get a really cool bonus. I have some pretty standard airport observations that might be worth refreshing the screen for later, but I’ll leave you with this. Some people can measure the amount of time they have been away from home by the excitement of the people that greet them….I can tell how long I’ve been away by the lack of ice in the freezer and the garbage bags that can’t go from the side of the house to the curb without my superman like ability to heft a can on wheels 15 feet. Check in soon.

Jon

Yes suh! – Look out Rhody

So this weekend I’m off to re-visit my former home in Rhode Island. The island itself is not large and the ferry to get there is always on time. I will be spending time at the worldwide headquarters of American Power Conversion, a subsidiary of Schneider Electric. APC, as we like to call it, sits smack dab in the middle of the sod farms of Rhode Island and frankly, if you could find the exact middle of nowhere in such a small state, APC is there.

Rhode Island is a strange place. I love it for a lot of reasons, my son was born there, my daughter was born there, my wife is from there…the list goes on, but I gotta tell you the place drives me crazy too. In Rhode Island there is an entirely different language, culture, and driving rules. Let me share with you some of my observations so that you don’t ever have to go there yourself and if you do, you have a heads up.

Language – There is an entire book devoted to the idioms and craziness of the Rhode Island dialect, but I was actually confused the first time I heard some of the terms, such as.

- Bubbler – One day a kid walked up to me in the halls of the APC world headquarters and asked me where the bubbler was. I thought he was looking for the CEO’s office, but as it turns out he meant the water fountain. Bubbler? (Correction – the pronunciation is “bubblah” as pointed out to me by long time RI resident obgram. I put it in the other way so you could figure out what the heck I was writing)

- Carriage – Yet another day I went to the grocery store with Jen and Sara and Jen yelled at Sara to get a carriage. Sara spoke the language, so she returned with a shopping cart. I thought to myself…well isn’t that dumb.

- Hot – I know what you’re thinking. I know this word, what’s the problem with that one? In Rhode Island this is the thing in your chest that keeps your blood pumping.

- Wicket – The spelling of this word can be seen a thousand ways, but it is a exclamatory statement put in front of other words to punch up the importance of what you just did or saw. “Dude….that was wicket cool!” Sometimes it can come after the event. “Them forttajuly fyahworks was wikkit!"

I could go on and on…check this page out. (Rhode Island expressions) I literally heard almost every one of of these expressions. There was a commercial on the radio for the first 6 months that I lived there that I could never understand what they were saying until I drove by the place at the exact same time the commercial played…something like “Supah quiky maht” I’ll take a picture of it when I’m there for you.

Driving -  Since this post is already quite long I’ll give you my single favorite RI maneuver and pick this up later if anyone is interested.

- Since Rhode Island is in New England and New Englanders are rude, then you will understand why this happens. There is no turn taking in Rhode Island. If you want to join the flow of traffic in any location you basically have to keep edging the nose of your car into that traffic until someone either hits you or chickens out. I would never join this game while I lived there and sometimes had to sit and wait for an opening for what was possibly hours. I’ve never seen anything like it. Oh…New Englanders aren’t necessarily rude, they just can’t be bothered.

This is my first trip to Rhode Island since starting this blog, so I will share with you yet another strange land. More later. Send ferry money!

Ok…so I’m not funny

So we’re driving back from the hospital today when I decided to make a joke. Jen wasn’t looking and I yelled out “EEK! She was startled and asked me “WHAT!?”

eek

I thought it was funny.

Funnier still is that the license was a Rhode Island license from a car dealership near our old house in Warwick, RI. I had to take a picture. I wonder what the driver was thinking as he looked in his rearview mirror and saw someone taking a picture of his car.