My new job

I have found the perfect job for me. It occurred to me tonight as I strolled through the Barnes and Noble down the road. I want to be a book reader. That’s right. A book reader. I just want to read the books. I don’t want to discuss them, edit them, correct them or anything else. I know this seems like a relatively useless job, but I’ve seen other jobs that seem just as silly. Wal-Mart greeter for instance. I’m not sure what kind of secret corporate deal that was struck to make that a job, but more power to them. The next trick is to find the proper company to pay me. For such a unique job I feel like I should also be paid pretty well. I’ll get back to you.

Get a job…

I’m writing this entry for historical purposes. You can read it at your boredom peril, but I got kind of irked the other day when Sara said I had a boring job. Someday she can read this and think the same thing, but I didn’t just plop myself down at this desk and decide this is what I was going to do.

It occurred to me while I was out walking today that I was a couple of months shy of 10 years at my current company and this got me thinking about jobs. I had also been talking to Jen earlier about jobs and she made the comment that she thinks I’ve done every job imaginable. Obviously this isn’t true but this is my list….Sara and Sam…start looking at the want ads, your time is near.

Newspaper delivery boy – 1979 to 1984 – I wrote about this a while back but I sure learned that people counted on me to perform my job and called me right up when I screwed up.

Fry cook and ice cream boy – 1985 Summer? – I learned how to make change. This is a skill that isn’t taught anymore. I learned customer service and sure had some good times flirting with the girls that worked at the Dairy K.

Detasseling corn - Some summer as a teen - This is one of the worst jobs in the world. Get up at 5:00 am, get on a bus that takes you to the middle of nowhere in a corn field. From there you proceed to walk up and down rows of corn in the mud or dirt, pulling tassels from corn. All. Day. Long. In the middle of summer. If you didn’t do a good job they just fired you at the end of the day.

Information desk – 1986 – I learned that jobs can be boring and that a Dominos pizza took me a couple of hours to earn. No toppings.

Bartender – Summer of 1988? – I learned that people drink for a lot of reasons and that the movie “Cocktail” was a joke. I also learned how to make ice cream drinks and about tips.

Retail sales – Winter break 1988? – I learned about men’s suits. I don’t think I had ever worn one, but I sold the shit out of cardigans that year. It was the 80’s you know.

Jack of all trades – every summer – 1987 – 1990 – I mowed every blade of grass the Village of Orion owned for many summers. I filled pot holes. I fought storm debris with a chain saw. I helped clean various sewer plant operations. I built sidewalks. I painted that “historic damn bandshell” at least once. I picked up junk during clean up week. I drove a road grader. I was a meter reader. This is the best job I think I ever had.

Medical courier – 1990 to 1991 – I learned that if you have the right job you get the best parking places. I took this job to get the “Golden ticket” parking sticker that came along with it.

Psychiatric technician – 1991 -  I learned that there were people in the world with a lot of problems that were worse than mine and that the people who care for them are the most patient, understanding people I have ever met. I picked up some of it. I sadly also had to learn about psychiatric drugs, passive restraint, and sometimes death.

Computer Operator – 1991 – This was a filler job that got me hooked on computers. I learned a thing or two about the newspaper business at the Quad City Times. The time at this job would serve me well later.

Blackjack dealer – 1991 – I learned that being a psych tech and a bartender was pretty much the same thing as a blackjack dealer, only with cards and for more money. I learned more about tips.

Casino floor person – 1993 – I learned about managing people and that knowing someone's name and greeting them was gold.

Pit manager (Pit boss) – 1994 to 1998 – I figured out that most people just wanted something for free and would do a lot of things to get it. I learned what it was like to work on holidays, weekends and nights. I saw the worst of people for the most part, but wouldn’t trade my time with the people I worked with for anything in the world.

Table games shift manager – 1998 – 1999 – Despite all of the things I’ve just written about casino work, I had a blast at this job. Eventually like most jobs where there is money, booze and nightlife, you grow out of it or become a slave to it. I decided to quit one day and did.

Unemployed – 4 months (I think) from November 1999 to March of 2000. The only time in my life since age 12 that I didn’t have some form of job. I learned to relax first and then I realized how much being a part of something was important to me.

Call center technical support – 2000 – I learned that starting over is tough.

Call center team leader – 2001 – By this time I had learned a new business and was learning new things.

Call center manager – 2003 – I learned that I was good at this new business and had a good team to help me do it. I figured out that having a good team was pretty key to success.

Sr. Business Analyst – I learned that it wasn’t all about having a bigger and better job and being important. I learned that it was more important to do the right thing for my family. I proposed that I help find a new call center manager and that I would work from home in Tampa, FL and help raise my kids. So far, so good.

Extra! Extra!, read all about it…

I was thinking about a job the other day that probably doesn’t really exist anymore. The paperboy. Me and my brother delivered papers for a thousand years with the Moline Dispatch. What’s the equivalent to that job now? I know I didn’t realize it at the time, but I learned a TON of things by delivering papers and I’m not sure some of these things get learned by kids today. Here is my list:

1. People are relying on you – As a kid people don’t really treat you like you can contribute much, but when you are their source for something all of a sudden you are important and you realize it quick when you screw that up.

2. The world is a strange place – I remember learning VERY quickly that people are really weird. I would ring the doorbell to collect the weekly “bill” (initially 90 cents a week) and people wouldn’t answer the door when they saw me. It was even funnier the people who WOULD answer the door, but tell me they didn’t have any money. ??? 90 cents? Even back then most people could find 90 cents behind the cushions on the couch.

3. Rain, sleet, snow or heat – The stupid paper HAD to be delivered. It was my job. That is a huge lesson to learn as a 12 year old kid. I didn’t have very many papers to deliver, but they had to get there somehow and if they didn’t all eyes were on me.

4. Interacting with people – I had people on my route that made delivering less than 50 papers last all day. Mrs. Freitag who was from Sweden and still talked with an accent, or maybe it was Germany, who knows? “Butch” who was a great guy and would tell me all kinds of stories. Mrs. Love who I always thought was some reclusive old rich lady. There were tons of them and it was fun to get to know them.

5. The Sunday newspaper weighed a ton.

I also remember tying the bag to my bike and zipping along as fast as I could to get those papers out and go do something I wanted to do. I wish I still had one of those bags. This picture is from 1954, but it might as well have been from my days with the paper.