The reformation

I’ve discovered the solution to our current government debate! I actually discovered what the problem was and once everyone is aware of the problem we can all have a laugh and then move on.

The problem is the word “reform”. This word has many ties to negative or criminal activity. Reform school, jails or prisons used to be called reformatories, and simply put, the prefix “re-“ means you didn’t get it right the first time. You have to re-start, re-do, re-move, re-charge…you name it. Reform is holding us back. Trust me on this, I tested it out. I tried the following experiments.

I presented “Mow the lawn” as “Landscape reform” – ordinarily mowing the lawn around here isn’t very popular, but we all grumble and get the work done. When I presented it as “Landscape reform” I was immediately confronted with anger and resistance. “What’s wrong with our current grass length"?” “Can’t we just mow part of the lawn? Maybe the part with the most weeds?” – I immediately saw the rhetoric ramp up when using the word reform. I decided to try it on a positive experience and see if it had the same effect.

I tried “Water immersion reform” – right away everyone was confused and said they didn’t like the sound of it. “How much is it going to cost?” “Will we all have to participate?” I have to say that since I was referring to going swimming, the public option didn’t seem as good. I was able to tie together the idea of pooling resources though.

The last experiment I tried on someone outside the family and the effect was immediate. I decided to use all the “bad” words that have been flying around and see if I could incite a riot. I told the lady at the library that I was working on the “Green tort health initiative” and that we were dedicated to the highest level of reform possible in the area. She shrugged her shoulders and said she didn’t like vegetables anyhow and I could reform the hell out of them.

I think I found problem #2.