We are going back to life observations for a bit…mostly because I have one.
Something has been bothering me. Toothpaste. It’s not about squeezing from the middle, or putting the cap back on, or even that annoying crust that forms at the spout. It’s about how far is too far. Sam’s toothpaste container is down to the end…or what I think is the end. Actually what I thought was the end passed about a week ago. I’m a math person, so at the point where I have to strain to extract the last quarter ounce of toothpaste from the tube, the cost vs. pain in the ass factor has been reached. Jen, however, derives some sort of pleasure out of those last few ounces. The other day I even contemplated telling Sam to forget about brushing his teeth, it was just too hard. Jen put the kabosh on that and between the two of us we managed to get the toothbrush a whiff of toothpaste. Yes that’s right. It took two of us to get the toothpaste out. This, I believe, is the breaking point. The last 5 pennies worth of toothpaste can go to whoever find it in the garbage and has a really good friend who will help them retrieve it. See what happens when I take a day off from posting to this blog? Seriously deep, thoughtful contemplation.
Dear Professor:
ReplyDeleteThank You for posting your thesis on the physics of toothpaste extraction. I have spent many years contemplating the payoff vs. frustration factor and have written 1,000's of articles in the journal of insanity observations. The two person technique you have suggested may be a once in a lifetime Eureka discovery. Please post any photographs of this technique or pictures of a chicken if you have any. The world of science has taken a new turn in the logistics of toothpaste dispensing and I commend you.
This being such a recent discovery we are declining to publish photographs, schematics, or instructions. Stay tuned for possible patent filings.
ReplyDeleteDr. Smiley